


Gender Role Reversal in Jaime's Narrative and in his Relationships with Brienne and Cersei

by janie_tangerine



Series: in which I stash meta/essays/everything that's not fanfic [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Amputation, Book 3: A Storm of Swords, Book 4: A Feast for Crows, Character Analysis, F/M, Gender Issues, Gender Role Reversal, Gender Roles, Meta, Nonfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 03:35:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18930460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: In which I meta-ed and spent a more or less reasonable amount of words discussing how gender role reversal is a fundamental theme in Jaime's personal narrative and how it affects his relationships with both Brienne and Cersei and how it touches both women's narrative as well.





	Gender Role Reversal in Jaime's Narrative and in his Relationships with Brienne and Cersei

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted in a less polished version on tumblr [here](https://janiedean.tumblr.com/post/179521166163/reading-the-jb-stump-meta-i-felt-there-could-be); the original question was _Reading the JB + stump meta, I felt there could be so much to unpack also about gender/roles in Westeros, there. J not being (a) "whole" (man) bc he thinks he can't *fight* or *have sex with a woman* without his right hand, C thinking he could only "fumble at" her and downgrading him from ideal lover/"me as man" to "undesirable servant I'll let fill my cup", B still seeing him as fighter *and* attractive + wondering if he'd like her to be soft and helpless even while playing knight to his DID._
> 
> The polished version I'm posting here was also on the meta book I gave Gwen in which I also put the previous three metas. I have another one on how both jb and jc are courtly trope deconstructions that I'll hopefully publish asap. For now have more rants. ;)
> 
> As usual: everything belongs to GRRM and the quotes are there to prove a point, I own nothing except the rants.
> 
> Also: this is tagged with both ships because it discusses both ships, the former was not because it wasn't *so* important, the next one also will be because it's indeed important same as here. Feel free to scroll if it's not what you're interested in reading. :)

When discussing Jaime’s loss of the right hand (as we saw in the previous piece), we can also tie it into a more general discussion about how it affects the gender role reversal in between him and Brienne and how it ties to his relationship with Cersei.

Specifically, as far as he is concerned, his problem isn’t specifically tied to his lack of  _masculinity_  attached to the hand which could be assumed given that when he loses it he thinks he’s lost everything he’s worth (including fighting, having sex and so on, which are all technically _male_ characteristics), but the  _hand itself_  in the sense that, if he was born to be a warrior, taking it from him is basically taking his main source of pride/joy from him  _and_  it makes him useless on his job since it’s being in the Kingsguard, and given that he can’t be with Cersei in public of course he makes up for it with his chivalric prowess… which  _he doesn’t have anymore_. _That_  is a self-esteem blow of epic proportions because if he doesn’t have  _that_  then he has nothing else going for his supposed usefulness (and mind how he keeps himself alive  _also_  thinking he’ll see Cersei again because  _that_  makes him feel like he can survive another day - if he doesn’t have his skills he’ll have the woman he loves/who loves him,  _right_?) and he has to command the kingsguard  _without what makes him a knight_  and so on. Now, the thing is that he has to eventually find out that he can fight and have sex and so on also without the right hand and  _that_  doesn’t define him whatsoever,  _but_  that doesn’t matter because the way he processes things as I said in that other post, he equates feeling  _good_  with both sex and sword fights, so taking his ability from one  _also_  might mean taking away the other and guess what, if you don’t count the sept sex, he and Cersei haven’t really… done anything that’s not her trying to have sex with him and him refusing her when he realizes she’s disgusted since then, which  _could_  cement it. But it’s not that it makes him feel like  _a woman_  in a derogatory sense, it’s mostly about him feeling like  _he_  doesn’t have anymore what makes him  _good_  at his job or makes him  _Cersei_ _’s mirror_ , and mind that until he meets her again and it goes like shit he’s  _subconsciously_  aware that she wouldn’t like it if he looked  _different from her_ :

  

> The reflection in the water was a man he did not know. Not only was he bald, but  **he looked as though he had aged five years in that dungeon** ; his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. ** _I don’t look as much like Cersei this way. She’ll hate that._**

 

Now, if she loves him that much,  _should she care?_ She shouldn’t, but he thinks she will, and while he tells himself that he has to go back to her, he  _knows_  subconsciously that she would hate for him to be back changed enough that she can’t recognize herself in him, which should already suggest a lot.  _But_  later, when he’s asked what Brienne is to him, he answers:

  

> “I will ask after her. What is this woman to you?”
> 
>   
>  “My  **protector**.” Jaime had to laugh, no matter how it hurt.

 

Sure, he finds it hilarious for obvious reasons, but he  _doesn’t_  go and think it’s ridiculous. Actually,  _he_  is the first one who says she’s his protector. And then, in the tub:  
 

> “Does the sight of my stump distress you so?” Jaime asked. “You ought to be pleased.  **I’ve lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I’d slide between my sister’s thighs to make her wet.** ” He thrust his stump at her face. “No wonder Renly died, with you guarding him.”
> 
>   
>  She jerked to her feet as if he’d struck her, sending a wash of hot water across the tub. Jaime caught a glimpse of the thick blonde bush at the juncture of her thighs as she climbed out. She was much hairier than his sister.  **Absurdly, he felt his cock stir beneath the bathwater. Now I know I have been too long away from Cersei. He averted his eyes, troubled by his body’s response.**  
>    
>  **"That was unworthy,” he mumbled. “I’m a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. _You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most._ ”**

 

First he thinks the sight of the stump distresses her when instead she’s most likely skittish because she’s bathing naked with another naked man and from someone who thinks she’s ugly/undesirable, bathing  _naked_  with someone else is exactly the kind of thing that’d make you skittish, so it’s not the  _stump._ Then he tells her everything he did with it and she doesn’t care, and she only jerks up when he mentions  _renly_  and her failure to protect  _him_ , not before. Then he gets hard looking at her and one can see that he has a pretty messed up conception of sexuality if he thinks that it’s because he’s been away from Cersei too long instead of ‘I have a naked woman in front of me of course I’ll get hard’. Also, he’s  _troubled by his own body’s response_  which is what a fifteen year-old guy would even think and he feels halfway guilty for having felt attracted to someone else which  _again_ , he has a very messed-up up conception of sexuality.

That said, what does he say to apologize? ‘I’m bitter and you did a better job  _than most would have_ ,’ ie: men, and  _he’s aware that she basically kept him alive throughout that entire thing_  and doesn’t think she’s lesser for it,  _all the contrary_.

This means that  _Jaime_  himself doesn’t see his own condition as  _ending up in the damsel’_ _s position_  as demeaning nor has any problem seeing Brienne as someone who can and will do what most men would, and has  _no issue whatsoever with the idea of her protecting him_ , which is why we’re in full on reverse gender-coded territory here and that Jaime _doesn’t really care_  about it - he doesn’t, but because he’s gone outside gender norms when he was young and switiched his clothes with his sister’s and has no technical issue with the idea of women not being inferior and so on (and he also doesn't care for external looks, which is obvious from how he’s the only one in the family who doesn’t judge Tyrion for them), but at this point he doesn’t have the scope to see the entire situation and he has no idea of that nor that he might actually be having feelings when it comes to Brienne because again, he’s spent all his life convinced that he and Cersei are the same person.

We’re talking about a guy who  _romanticizes everything he touches_  to insane degrees - knighthood, his sister, his family and so on - and that when seeing that it’s not the case reacts  _very_ badly, but his relationship with Brienne is pretty much devoid of it because when they met they didn’t like each other and he didn’t exactly put her on a pedestal, she earned it in his eyes same as he earned his place in  _her_  chart of people she actually admires/loves.

Now, when it comes to how _Cersei_ deals with it, we have one overwhelmingly negative reaction.

Point is, Cersei wants  _herself in a male body_  because she wishes she was born a man so she could be in the position she yearns for ie Tywin’s heir. Jaime’s needs or personality or whatever matter zero to  _her_  but until he thinks they want the same thing then the entire relationship holds. But when he wants different things and _loses the hand_ , this is what happens:

 

> “Fool. No one who wears a crown is ever safe.” She looked about the hall. Mace Tyrell laughed amongst his knights. Lords Redwyne and Rowan were talking furtively. Ser Kevan sat brooding over his wine at the back of the hall, whilst Lancel whispered something to a septon. Senelle was moving down the table, filling the cups of the bride’s cousins with wine as red as blood. Grand Maester Pycelle had fallen asleep.  **There is no one I can rely upon, not even Jaime, she realized grimly. I will need to sweep them all away and surround the king with mine own people.**
> 
> **//**
> 
> “ ** _You were better, before you lost your hand_**. Ser Barristan, when he was young. Arthur Dayne was better, and Prince Rhaegar was a match for even him. Do not prate at me about how fierce the Flower is. He’s just a boy.” **She was tired of Jaime balking her.** No one had ever balked her lord father. When Tywin Lannister spoke, men obeyed. When Cersei spoke, they felt free to counsel her, to contradict her, even refuse her. It is all because I am a woman. Because I cannot fight them with a sword. They gave Robert more respect than they give me, and Robert was a witless sot.  **She would not suffer it, especially not from Jaime. _I need to rid myself of him, and soon. Once upon a time she had dreamt that the two of them might rule the Seven Kingdoms side by side, but Jaime had become more of a hindrance than a help._**
> 
>  

The moment he tells her that she’s wrong and actually tries to counsel her,  _after **he loses the hand** , _he becomes…. _more of a hindrance than a help_ , and  _she needs to rid herself of him_.That’s not exactly what you think of someone who’s your other half or should love no matter what. The moment he loses the hand she basically downgrades him because he can’t be  _the man she wants to be_  and his needs and wants aren’t important: that’s not even taken into consideration. Also, in that moment Cersei is being more pro-reinforcing gender roles than she’d like to think because when he loses the hand (which makes him  _her male counterpart_  too, and one who can defend her in time of need like no one else could) and shows that he has a personality that’s not hers, she has no use for him anymore. And for how much she hates men for holding her down as a woman she does the exact same thing to anyone else she can get away with  _including_  Jaime, and that’s not  _loving someone back regardless because they’re your other half_ which is what Jaime desperately wants instead. Jaime’s entire system is built on the idea that he loves her  _but she loves him back_ , and when he finds out it’s not the case,  _well_ , friendly reminder he did burn that letter and is trying to put himself back on track.  
  
Also, in that context, she says that she dreamed _they'd rule the seven Kingdoms_ , but Jaime  _could_  have ruled them when he killed Aerys and he didn’t even attempt to do it. It’s  _her_  dream. it was never  _his_  and she doesn’t even realize that, which says all about how much she’s aware of his emotional needs.

When it comes to Brienne’s reaction to it, though, her side is the most complicated to unpack but that’s because Brienne is in the sort-of-unique position of being the only one character who  _manages to go past gender roles completely but actually doesn’t necessarily relish it._

The point is that Brienne wants to be a knight because it’s the job that better suits her built, it allows her to not being stuck at home in a role she hates surrounded by people who make her feel inadequate and it fits with her ideas about honor and  _allows her to have a chance at good things._ After all, her  _key_  quote in _A Clash of Kings_ was:

 

> “Because it will not last,” Catelyn answered, sadly. “Because they are the knights of summer, and winter is coming.”  
>    
>  “Lady Catelyn, you are wrong.” Brienne regarded her with eyes as blue as her armor. “Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it’s always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining.”  
>    
>  Winter comes for all of us, Catelyn thought. For me, it came when Ned died. It will come for you too, child, and sooner than you like. She did not have the heart to say it.

 

Brienne would rather live in a  _song_  where the sun is always shining, if you die it’s okay because people will remember you, the knights are never not gallant (like the ones that she had to fight off all her life), the maids are beautiful (like she’s not) and  _everything is always better than in real life_ , and in this sense meeting Jaime basically strips that from her  _but not enough_. in the sense that he makes her realize that reality and songs don’t go well together, but  _it doesn’t mean she won’t keep trying to behave the way a proper knight should_ , which is what she does through all of _A Feast For Crows_. At the same time, Brienne also fell for Renly when they danced together ( _dancing_ , as in what _ladies_ usually do do) and she was wearing a dress and he was basically nice to her  _while letting her be feminine for once_ , Brienne admires cat for having a woman’s strength and Brienne is entirely down with protecting  _also_  women along the road. Regardless of what might seem at first glance, Brienne doesn’t  _hate_  feminine things, she just doesn’t partake in them because she’s better at being a knight which is sadly a man’s job in Westeros and everyone made fun of her whenever she tried which then added to her overall self-esteem issues.

 As of _A Feast for Crows,_ Brienne’s going around Westeros risking her neck to do knightly things  _even when as a woman it’s 100% more difficult than it’d be if she were a man_  and taking on that role, but when she wants to weep on Jaime’s shoulder she’s basically saying she wants to be vulnerable with him like  _the soft helpless maidens she’s not like_ : 

 

> _Or I could take the kingsroad south_ , Brienne thought. _I could slink back to King's Landing, confess my failure to Ser Jaime, give him back his sword, and find a ship to carry me home to Tarth, as the Elder Brother urged_. The thought was a bitter one, yet there was part of her that yearned for Evenfall and her father, and another part that wondered if Jaime would comfort her should she weep upon his shoulder. That was what men wanted, wasn't it? Soft helpless women that they needed to protect?

 

It’s interesting to note that _weeping on her shoulder_ is about what he did with her when he told her about Aerys, but again, Brienne has no  _preconceived_  notion of gender roles blocking her because she  _doesn’t_  hate the female-coded ones but has taken on the male-coded ones her entire life because she either had to or felt called to or felt more at ease with them.

Back Jaime’s situation: he also doesn’t care that she’s defying them, actually he _likes_ it and respects her for it and  _that_  makes him look even better/more appealing to her  _because he’s the only man who took her seriously *for real*/for herself_  and not for how useful she could be. Brienne, being a woman into guys,  _definitely_  noticed that he’s attractive (she tells him _the white cloak becomes you_  when he gives her Oathkeeper, and in her first _A Feast For Crows_ chapter she thinks about the Harrenhal bath and remembers him looking _half a corpse and half a god)_ and there is enough textual evidence to assume she’s in love with him, but what’s more important is that on one side she’s bent on being his _knight_ because he trusted her with it  _and_  she swore to protect him (before he sent her off), on the other she sees him as the only man who - having  _come back for her in the bear pit_  - she could allow herself to be feminine/vulnerable with, because  _that_  was the only time in her life she actually was the damsel and not the knight.

Now, that is something he did it  _without the hand_ , so the thing is that to Brienne  _he_  was the knight in not so shining armor (or armor, period), when  _he jumped into the bear pit without a weapon or anything else to save her life after coming back for her_  which  _no one has ever done before_ , actually until then she has fought off everyone for herself. To  _Brienne_ , his most heroic moment is when  _he tries to save her without the hand_ , so she  _couldn’t_  link that loss to his supposed lack of masculinity or skills or heroism  _because he didn’t need that hand to save her._  

Also it’s interesting to note how in _A Feast For Crows_ they _both_ defend each other’s honor/avenge each other: Jaime punches in the teeth Ronnet Connington, as in her previous suitor who ruined her self-esteem for good and disrespected her so much that when she has a fever nightmare later in the book she sees him and  _wishes Jaime was there and would come back for her._ On the other side, Brienne kills (and fairly bloodily/not gallantly) two of the Bloody Mummers, Timeon and Shagwell (who had been especially terrible to the both of them during their captivity)  _thinking that she’s doing it for Jaime as well_ , and of course none of them knows what the other is doing in this sense. Still, Brienne’s  _literally_  going knight in shining armor on him to the point where she’s willing to die for him, and she has no issues with  _that_  because that’s what she’s good at…. same as  _he has no issues with it because he entirely accepted that she can do that job and has done it for him better than most people would have_. At the same time she also sees him as someone who  _would_  or might let her be  _also_  soft and helpless  _while_  he sees her as gentler than his sister and trusted her with his most well-guarded secret after she literally kept him alive when he was sure he wouldn’t make it. and the hand, to  _her_ , matters absolutely nothing.

And  _that_  is why Jaime and Brienne’s relationship can be described as a case of  _continuous_  gender role reversal in which he’s coded as the damsel in distress most of the time and she’s coded as his knight, but they switch places a few times (mostly: the bear pit) to a point where they’re basically  _well_  outside gender roles both in Westeros terms and modern terms but  _it works perfectly_  for them. The point with Cersei is that, for as much as she thinks she’s  _not_ , she’s completely stuck into the Westeros gender roles structure and can’t get out or maneuver around it the way other women in the series have to  _because she wants to have the same power men have without resorting to alternative ways of having it_  and  _will_  stick to it and cares for having power more than anything else.

On the other side Brienne has been  _outside_  gender roles all her life and doesn’t particularly care about any of them even if she suffers for being denied her feminine side, and Jaime has seen enough to know that gender roles are nothing of import and women aren’t lesser than he is. On top of that, he also mostly wants to have his emotional needs met which  _he most likely has never had,_  which is why he and Brienne match perfectly  _in that sense_ : because he wouldn’t mind being with someone outside gender roles who  _gets_  him and she needs someone who’ll have her  _exactly the way she is_  and be into her regardless of her looks or how she works outside the norms  _and_  who would let her  _also_ be soft and helpless  _if she needed it_. That works for them because they could and would and  _have_  been that person for the other already, except that they haven’t quite realized it at the point the books left them because they’re two fairly damaged people who are very bad at understanding their own feelings. And _that_ is also why Cersei and Jaime post hand-loss can’t work: because she needs someone who’s  _her_  and looks like her and wants what she wants and Jaime  _does not and never has_.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Gender Role Reversal in Jaime's Narrative and in his Relationships with Brienne and Cersei [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908503) by [Opalsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong)




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